Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
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i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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