she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
