Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
