When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
