Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
