Kiss
Puke
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
