omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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