I have demons in me.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize