the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
