no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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