nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
