That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
