Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This is not my ceiling
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
