Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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