I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just google imaged poop.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
