she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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