So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize