I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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