I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
