super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
