I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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