she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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