JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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