Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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