plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
