so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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