i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
