Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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