Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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