i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
