Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize