both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
