omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
3 2 1 whiskey
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
