Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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