my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
