This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
