apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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