apparently the secret to your success is patron
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I FOUND THE LEGS
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
