I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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