DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
