I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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