Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize