Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
