Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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