i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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