There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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