You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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