So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
