jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's official drugs can't kill me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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