I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
