His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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