TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
