Me too!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
