Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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