I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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