What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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