Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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