Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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