Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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