literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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