PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Everyone says I win the strip club
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize