I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
