yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
