Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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