he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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