96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
